Week 10 (12-2-13)

Every single week without fail, I sit here for a minute and think, ´´where can I even start to write.´´ 

This week has pushed me to my very limits. It was incredibly, incredibly, INCREDIBLY difficult. We went from a week to super bacan numbers and experiences to rock bottom. we couldn’t of had a worse week. We found no one. Everyone the entire week rejected and were, at times, very rude. It pushed not only me, but Elder Froerer to the edge as well. I constantly was weighed down with stress. I can’t really tell you how stressed I was at some points. But I know as I keep working and forgetting the bad and trying as hard as I can, things will get better. 

I’ll give you some slight details of the week

Monday

Was just a regular p day. We didn't do much. It was Elder Garcia´s birthday as well. So Elder Shumway got him a trophy. We relaxed a bit, and cleaned the house. We worked a bit and had a few lessons. 

Tuesday

Wasn’t too exciting, didn’t find any leads to any other investigators, We have only one serious investigator at the moment. 

(Side tangent)

An older man named Tulio. He was taken in by la familia Ojeda. He used to be one of the regular drunks just living out on the streets here in Nonguen. (By the way, there are TONS of drunks here. I’ve gotten to know almost all of them.) He didn’t really have anything going in his life. So one day, the hermana took him in under the conditions that he would try and stop drinking and smoking and start learning about the gospel. One night we went in and found him and taught him. He is one hilarious guy. He has kind of an innocent, dumb blonde appearance at first, but he is intelligent and funny. He has Italian ancestry so he has white skin like ours. He’s something like 57 years old. So we've been teaching him and he has been really receptive to all the doctrines we have taught. I feel such godly love for the people I teach. I love teaching them and helping them get closer to the Savior. 

So Tuesday night, we had a Noche de Hogar with Tulio and the Ojeda family. We watched the restoration and discussed the doctrines and lesson behind that. It went really well. We had juice and completos after. 

Wednesday

I had a mini cambio with Elder Ramirez, my zone leader. I was scared out of my mind for this. It was my showtime. We had a zone meeting and discussed goals. After that E Ramirez and I left to Nonguen. We worked hard. It was just a long hard put your shoulder to the wheel kind of day. Every plan that I originally had fell through. It was humiliating in some ways. I felt like my Spanish came to a screeching halt in some parts of the day, it just wasn’t working out. I couldn’t speak, and I was scrambling for other ideas constantly. By the end, I was drained and dazed. My mind was just fogged up from how long and tiring it was. 

Thursday 

We ended the mini cambio and went to work. In the morning, we did a lot of P doc. Its just verifying the old and severely outdated records of the church here in Chile. So we go around with a list and just verify where old and inactive members of the church live. After lunch with an hermana, we worked like crazy. This is where things just looked impossible. We found no one still. We went everywhere and tried everything. We still found no one. We were rejected, and even got to the point where we just stormed away and had to take a moment to get the spirit back. By the time we got back to the casa we felt beaten. I was so clueless of what to even do or think. 

Since I’ve had 4 weeks out in the field now, Elder Froerer is pushing me to do a lot of the planning, working, and teaching. Especially cause he has 6 months in Nonguen. He has been here forever, so we are preparing for cambios so if he gets shipped out, ill be ready to be el dueño (in charge) de Nonguen. 

Anyone who knows me, knows or can tell that I’m terrible at taking charge and making decisions at times. It’s a real problem that I have. Out here in the mission, I’s unacceptable. I've constantly felt a deep pressure to overcome my weakness there. Sometimes I lack serious courage and self esteem to push over it. It is my biggest short- coming. I've been working on it and I will work on it until the day I die. So in constant fervent prayer I have been seeking divine help with this. I know that with my Heavenly Father and Saviors help, this burden may be made to seem light.

Friday

Regular day, we worked hard. We had a mutual activity at the church that night, and even some non- member jovenes  (youth) decided to join. It was good. 

Saturday

Another hard day, with little that came out of it. We were in sector D and taught the regular people like familia Ojeda, Sean y Nicolas, Jessica, y Hermana Ciudad. We contacted like crazy, and found some really mean people. 

Sunday

A better day. Its always nice having a Sunday to spiritually refill at church. We had a good fast and testimony meeting. We have some spiritual giants in our barrio (ward). It’s amazing. Both extremes so close here in Nonguen. Ive never seen such a contrast in people before. Ignacio received the Aaronic Priesthood and was ordained a Priest! Entonces, Chandler, you and Ignacio had a good Sunday. Crazy how that both my brother and recent convert are now in the same ranking. Ignacio is on top of the world. He always talks about how he feels the love and power of God. He feels amazing. And seeing him always makes me feel better. We worked hard this afternoon as well. No fruits, still. 

Monday

Got up, studied and seriously cleaned the house. It was a good morning. We live in a cleaner place now. The four of us Elders Froerer, Garcia, Shumway and I have been having a good time here in the centro. We got a flipping delicious lunch where I got my first LEGITAMATE completo. We went to a thrift shop kind of place and I got some sweet ties for 500 pesos each. (a dollar) and now I’m sitting here typing. 

Its been a tough week not having anything starting up, or anything going for Elder Froerer and I. I’ve struggled a lot, and of course from that, I’ve learned a lot about myself. At times I’ve questioned everything that I’m doing. I’ve looked deep inside myself and pondered a lot about missionary work, life, and what I need to do. I’ve felt alone, and lost at times this week. But still, I know my savior knows exactly where I am at. He has felt this. With this knowledge, I am pushing forward. I am relying on no one else except my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know things will get better as I continue to go forward with faith, to work hard and forget myself. I have a testimony that is still a roaring flame. I’m grateful to be serving. I’m grateful for my calling to be a representative of Jesus Christ, to testify of him. 

It’s crazy thinking about everyone at home. It’s a different world over here. I love each of you so much more than you know. I miss you all! I hope that this next week is good for all of you. Till next week.

Elder Ethan Haws